


When You Put It That Way

by fujibutts



Category: Naruto
Genre: Exorcisms, Gen, Ghosts, M/M, Minor Violence, Supernatural Elements, Wicca
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-28
Updated: 2014-12-28
Packaged: 2018-03-03 23:30:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2892095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fujibutts/pseuds/fujibutts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"There's something… there."</p>
<p>"Something? Like a spy?"</p>
<p>"Err, not a spy," he scratched at the back of his head and looked to Pakkun desperately but the pug lay still, asleep in Kakashi's arms. "More like… a spirit?" he cursed inwardly for the involuntary shrug accompanying the unsure tone of his voice. Way to go Iruka.</p>
<p>"…So you're saying there's a ghost in my house."</p>
<p>Iruka winced. "Well when you put it that way…"</p>
            </blockquote>





	When You Put It That Way

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kita_the_Spaz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kita_the_Spaz/gifts).



> A weird mishmash of Shinto, Christian and Wiccan spirit protection rituals??
> 
> Also I'm not entirely sure where in the canon timeline this takes place. It mentions Sasuke leaving so?? Probably sometime after that. Probably.
> 
> For the KakaIru Fest Winter Round 2k14 and Kita_the_Spaz

Iruka really owed Anko one for getting him an apartment in the A block. It was perfect. Close enough to Hokage tower that he could get a few extra minutes of shuteye in the morning, but far enough away that even the rowdiest of shinobi awaiting their morning mission assignment would be nothing but faint background noise. The only thing that wasn't so perfect was his neighbor.

To the left was Genma. Genma was nice. He and Raidou were close so Iruka knew he was a good person as well as a good shinobi. Across the way was Kotetsu and Izumo, who always invited him over for drinks. Anko was one floor up so he no longer had to worry about her getting home safe after missions.

It was that apartment to the right, which housed one Kakashi Hatake that was the problem.

Not that he was making too much noise or anything like that, it was just the fact that he was living there that gave Iruka issues. He didn't particularly like or dislike the man, but the sting of Sasuke's departure was still quite strong. They were both teachers, and Iruka knew that as Sasuke's mentor Kakashi should have been the one to keep Sasuke safe inside the village.

Iruka tried to brush it off. It's okay. It wasn't like they interacted all that much. In fact, the times they saw each other were very far and few in between- and those times were all out around the village, never in the apartment building.

...

It was a pounding on the door that woke him up late one night. As a trained shinobi he jumped to attention and grabbed a weapon and extended his chakra just enough to feel out who was behind the door. When the image of a small dog appeared in his head, he frowned in confusion. Was this some distraction tactic?

He opened the door and looked down, recognizing the small pug. "Pakkun?"

"No time to lose Sensei!" Immediately Pakkun grabbed his pant leg and began to drag him down the hall towards the Hatake apartment. The door was wide open and as he walked past the doorway Iruka felt a shiver go up his spine. To say room was a mess would have been an understatement. (A small part of him nodded in respect for the architects of this building- they really did an exceptional job on soundproofing these walls.) All sorts of clothes, books and papers were strewn about the room- and it didn't look like they were just left there due to laziness.

In the midst of it all was the man himself, Kakashi Hatake. Pakkun's incessant tugging snapped Iruka out of his thoughts and they ran over to the man. As Iruka reached out a hand to check for breathing, he felt the shock of static electricity prick his finger. On reflex he pulled the hand away but once again reached out. Once he confirmed that Kakashi was still alive, he heaved the man over his shoulder and exited the building heading towards the hospital.

Despite the late hour, they were immediately greeted with a stretcher and several nurses.

"Do you know what happened to him?" a nurse asked as they stood outside of the hospital room Kakashi was in.

Iruka shook his head and looked down to the dog who jumped into his arms as soon as Kakashi was situated on a bed. "Pakkun do you know?"

"He was trying to summon me, but didn't have enough chakra. Usually we're just pulled here but I could barely feel a tug."

The nurse jotted the dog's words down, nodding and gesturing for him to go on.

"When I got there the room was already a mess. Kakashi didn't look too good so I went to get Sensei."  

The nurse nodded a final time, "You can go into his room, if you'd like. We'll keep him here overnight for observation. If his condition does not improve, he'll stay another day. It seemed that he was under a lot of stress and the lack of sleep and nourishment got to him."

Iruka frowned, that didn't sound quite right. As shinobi their bodies were trained to function with minimal food and sleep under extreme pressure. Maybe Kakashi was being overworked? But his last mission ended at least three days ago and he returned with barely a scratch. Iruka could vouch for that because he was the one working the graveyard shift at the desk the night that Kakashi came back.

Thanking the nurse, he stepped inside the room. Immediately Pakkun leaped out of his arms and onto the bed, padding around in a small circle and making himself comfortable.

Iruka looked at Kakashi's face, still covered by his mask but noticeably gaunt and hollow, especially around the eyes where there were dark circles. He turned to the dog who was laying at the foot of the hospital bed. "You'll be staying here I guess?"

Pakkun glanced back at Kakashi's sleeping face before locking eyes with Iruka, "I'm not going back there Sensei. Kakashi shouldn't either."

"What makes you say that?"

"There's something bad there."

Iruka frowned, "Do you think there's someone trying to spy on him? Or sabotage him?" His mind buzzed with possibilities. Was Kakashi being targeted by someone? By _someones_? Was there some sort of secret group trying to sabotage shinobi all over the village? Should he go to the Hokage with this news? What if it was Orochimaru trying to get Kakashi weak enough to get him out of the village just like he did with Sasuke?

The dog coughed and Iruka's train of thought was momentarily derailed, "It's not… someone."

"What do you mean by that? Is it a group?"

Pakkun sighed and got up, padding towards Kakashi and settling himself by an unnaturally pale hand. "It's not some _one_  Sensei. It's some _thing_. And it's something bad."

…

By the time he returned to the apartment complex the sky was starting to lighten up. Iruka didn't want to go back to bed and ruin his sleep schedule, so he whipped himself up a quick breakfast before heading to the apartment next to his.

Iruka sighed as he pushed the door to Kakashi's apartment open; it looked like an absolute wreck when he was here earlier, and Kakashi would probably appreciate the gesture. He ignored the shiver that went up his spine as he entered and surveyed the room.

It was the same layout as his, with a bed in the corner and a bookshelves to the side. The one difference was that, where Iruka's apartment had a sort of lived-in feel with light clutter, Kakashi's felt like there had been a struggle, like someone had ransacked the room while Kakashi was unconscious.

He knelt down and began to straighten up the scattered items. It was mostly books and clothes, but he frowned when he realized the state they were in. Some books were torn apart, pages strewn about. The clothing wasn't in any better shape. It looked like a rabid dog had gone through Kakashi's closet and torn up his shirts and pants. Iruka had half a mind to ask Pakkun if he knew anything about this, but he knew that none of the ninken had anything against Kakashi. Despite being brash towards other humans, anyone could see how much Kakashi loved his dogs and how much they loved him back.

Iruka cleaned for what seemed like (and what actually were) hours. The mess just never seemed to go away! Sure the place was cluttered but he was pretty sure it didn't warrant hours of cleaning. The sun was in the sky and birds were chirping outside the window signaling a beautiful day, but Iruka was having none of that. He threw down the ripped book he was stuffing into a bag to be recycled, and groaned in exasperation. Stomping to the front door, Iruka glanced back at the room. If anything it was messier than before!

Stepping outside, he reached behind him to pull the door closed, but jumped when it slammed shut without him laying a finger on it.

Later, Iruka paced around his kitchen in a restless frenzy, occasionally tossing a wary look at the wall he shared with Kakashi. He wasn't crazy. That room definitely had something wrong with it. Should he tell someone? But who? The Hokage? Pakkun? The landlord?

He wasn't an extremely superstitious person, but Iruka's parents were deeply rooted in their home village's customs. So despite Iruka being a born and raised citizen of Konoha, he was raised with an extensive knowledge of the rituals and beliefs his ancestors held for spirits.

Eventually he made his way to his closet, pushing some old clothes aside until he unearthed the wooden box.

It was old, bordering on ancient. The box was sturdy and possibly had some chakra infused into it because even after the Kyuubi attack, it was unearthed from the rubble unscathed. Iruka ran his fingers over the lock before biting into his thumb and brushing some of his blood over the seal. Immediately there was a click and the box opened, revealing several books and amulets.

Throughout the years Iruka had opened the box in curiosity, especially on nights where he missed his parents and reminisced about the times they took the time to tell stories about their heritage. If he remembered correctly (which he was sure about. He had long since committed their talks to memory), one of these books talked about dealing with spirits. There was bound to be a section detailing the process of banishing unruly spirits.

With a determined look Iruka brought the box to his kitchen table, fixed himself a cup of tea, and cracked open a book.

Eventually one book turned into two, and then three. It was a long day, to say the least. It was hours before Iruka looked up from his reading. By that time the sun was beginning its descent, and a quick glance at the clock revealed it to be about 5pm. Sighing, he got up to stretch and scavenge for food in the fridge. He was barely half way through the small stack of books. There were six books and one heavy tome that definitely did not fit into the box without some sort of magical intervention.

He had to get through it all tonight, because Kakashi was getting released tomorrow and would probably want to go back to his apartment, right into the hands of what ever… thing was in there.

Iruka finished going through the books in the early morning.

He had little to no sleep for two nights in a row and it was really starting to take a toll on him. Skipping the tea he made himself a large mug of black coffee as he reread a page in the tome. It was exactly what he needed! It outlined a ritual to rid oneself of difficult spirits and the ritual itself wasn't too difficult. Iruka was thrilled!

Now came the hard part.

…

Iruka made his way to the hospital, letting himself into Kakashi's room with a knock.

Kakashi was awake, a book with an obscene cover image in one hand, and Pakkun cradled in the other. The man acknowledged Iruka before turning back to a book. He finished the page as Iruka made himself comfortable in a chair by the bedside. When the book was properly dog-eared and set aside, Kakashi finally turned to Iruka. "Thank you for last night Sensei."

Brushing it off Iruka smiled nervously, "Not a problem! How are you feeling?"

"Pretty good," Kakashi replied with a shrug. "I should be able to convince the nurses to let me go home tonight."

Iruka blanched. "No, you can't!" he had to think fast; Kakashi couldn't go back! "Stay at my house!"

"Why would I?" Kakashi asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Because your room is still messy!"

"I can deal with the mess for a while."

Iruka was torn. This man was really getting on his nerves. He could just let him go back to that apartment and end up as the victim of some chakra-leeching spirit, but one part of him that prided himself on being compassionate held him back. "I can't let you go back," he murmured.

"Why?" he almost missed the hint of concern in Kakashi's voice. Maybe he could settle this entire affair without looking like a madman.

"There's something… there."

"Something? Like a spy?"

"Err, not a spy," he scratched at the back of his head and looked to Pakkun desperately but the pug lay still, asleep in Kakashi's arms. "More like… a spirit?" he cursed inwardly for the involuntary shrug accompanying the unsure tone of his voice. Way to go Iruka.

"…So you're saying there's a ghost in my house."

Iruka winced. "Well when you put it that way…"

"Iruka-sensei I really appreciate you bringing me here, I really do. You are a very capable instructor and the children of our village are lucky to have you but-"

"Now just wait a minute!" With a snap of his finger Kakashi was silenced. Less in fear of what the younger man would do, but mild curiosity that only served to bring Iruka more ire. "I'm not saying that there definitely is a ghost, but I'm saying it could be a possibility. You agree with me right Pakkun?"

The dog was silent for long moment, and Iruka was almost ready to say goodbye to his reputation as a respectable man and embrace a life of ridicule as the crackpot ghost man, when he finally blinked sleepily and opened his mouth, "Kakashi there was something bad in there. And you were desperate enough to summon me." Pakkun looked pointedly at Kakashi, "If I didn't come out of my own will you could be dead right now, pup."

Kakashi furrowed his eyebrows at the dog, and Iruka thought that he could almost make out a bottom lip jutting out in a pout.

The moment stretched on forever as the two Hatakes stared at each other. But eventually, Kakashi relented and shifted his gaze towards Iruka. "Fine. We'll exorcise this ghost or whatever you want to do."

Iruka frowned at the man's sass and sniffed, "Yes, we will exorcise this ghost and whatever else I want to do."

…

Kakashi did in fact convince the nurses to let him leave that afternoon.

As the two men walked back to back to the apartment building, Iruka's stomach churned. He was feeling pretty confident. After leaving Kakashi's hospital room earlier that morning, Iruka went shopping for the herbs and supplies he would need. In all honesty the ritual didn't seem difficult. The most difficult part would be the incantation written in an old dead language, and Iruka could easily decode the characters thanks to his parents' lessons from when he was younger. Plus, he would have the book open so there was no need for memorization.

Iruka entered the room behind Kakashi, who sighed at the mess.

"I tried cleaning up, but I don't think it liked that," Iruka said, trying to lighten the mood.

Kakashi didn't respond, instead dejectedly picking up a torn book. "So how does this work?"

Iruka glanced around the room and put his hands on his hips. "Let's clear up the area as much as we can," as an afterthought he added under his breath, "This could get a little messy."

Soon there was an area free of debris in the middle of the room. Iruka plucked a piece of white chalk from his weapons pouch, repurposed to hold the supplies for the night. He drew a circle a meter in diameter on the floor with a five pointed star in the middle. Then, after a quick glance at his compass, Iruka placed four candles on the perimeter of the circle.

"A bowl?" Iruka asked and turned to Kakashi.

With a nod, Kakashi plucked a wooden bowl from his pantry and handed it to Iruka. The man reached into his pouch again and retrieved several small bags of herbs. As each bag was emptied, Kakashi could hear Iruka naming off each herb under his breath, "Sage… Sandalwood… Frankincense… Salt..."

Kakashi watched with curiosity as Iruka stepped back into the middle of the circle and held a hand out as if about to perform a jutsu, and recited an almost inaudible incantation in a foreign language. He performed a small jutsu to summon a small flame at the tip of his finger and began to burn the herbs. After a moment, Iruka stepped out of the circle still holding the bowl and walked to the kitchen table where he placed several other items when he first arrived.

He grabbed a short staff with paper streamers hanging off of it, and shook it a few times to get the feel of using it. "It's called an Ōnusa," he explained. "Follow me and sprinkle salt around."

Diligently, Kakashi followed Iruka as he waved the Ōnusa and let the smoke from the slowly burning herbs fill the area. He sprinkled salt around like he was ordered, still not completely understanding the ritual.

Finally they made their way back to the circle and Iruka placed the bowl in the middle of the circle. He took a handful of salt from the bag Kakashi was holding and sprinkled it around the circle.

Stepping back with a nervous smile, Iruka laughed nervously, "You ready?"

Kakashi snorted, "What do you think, Sensei? I'm about to help you banish a ghost from my apartment with some old foreign ritual. I'm still pretty sure that this is all a dream and I'm out on a mission high on wild mushrooms."

Iruka sniffed and lightly punched Kakashi's arm, "Well, this isn't a dream so buckle up."

He reached for the large tome and turned to a page in the middle held by a small bookmark.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow and plucked the bookmark away, "Wasn't this an Icha Icha Gold Edition exclusive?"

With a blush, Iruka turned away, "Shut up it was a gift!"

"Sure it was."

Choosing to ignore the statement Iruka held the book in front of him and reached his free hand out and began:

" _Regna terrae, cantate Deo, psallite Domino  
_ _qui fertis ascendit super caelum  
_ _caeli ad Orientem  
_ _Ecce dabit voci suae vocem virtutis,  
_ _tribuite virtutem deo_."

Over Iruka's voice Kakashi could hear the fluttering of papers. The window was wide open and with a quick glance outside it, Kakashi could tell that it wasn't just any breeze.

" _Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus_."

A shiver went up Kakashi's back, and as the sudden urge to look over his shoulder came over him. If Iruka was affected by any of this he wasn't showing it.

" _Omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio  
_ _infernalis adversarii, omnis legio,  
_ _omnis congregatio et secta diabolica.  
_ _Ergo draco maledicte  
_ _et omnis legio diabolica  
_ _adjuramus te_."

A breeze picked up inside the house, and it definitely wasn't coming from outside. Papers were picked up and Kakashi could hear the fluttering of Iruka's Ōnusa still resting on the table. The smoke rising from the herbs in the middle of the circle was undisturbed, though, even though the candles less than two feet away were flickering with the force of the wind.

" _Cessa decipere humanas creaturas,  
_ _eisque aeternae Perditionis venenum propinare.  
_ _Vade, Satana, inventor et magister  
_ _omnis fallaciae, hostis humanae salutis_."

The wind only grew more violent and the candles flickered enough that Kakashi was worried that they would go out. The Ōnusa and the heavy bag of salt on the kitchen table were knocked down with a clatter, salt spilling all over the floor. Kakashi whipped in the direction of the noise, only to see a glass from the sink launch into the air straight for his head. He was able to deflect the cup, and it shattered a safe distance from both him and Iruka.

Kakashi turned back to Iruka, eyes wide and looking slightly pale, but his voice stayed steady and almost bordered on aggressive. His hair was whipping in the wind, hand still stretched out with the muscles tense and taut. Iruka's eyes were glued to the tome as he continued the ritual.

" _Humiliare sub potenti manu dei_."

A dark shadow moved towards his closet and instantly Kakashi was on guard. He saw the glint of metal and immediately he reacted, grabbing a kunai from his thigh holster and throwing it just in time to counter the weapon headed towards Iruka.

This spirit was getting pretty bothersome, he thought. Hopefully Iruka would be done soon.

" _Contremisce et effuge, invocato a  
_ _nobis sancto et terribili nomine,  
_ _quem inferi tremunt.  
_ _Ab insidiis diaboli, libera nos, Domine.  
_ _Ut Ecclesiam tuam secura tibi facias libertate servire  
_ _te rogamus, audi nos_."

Iruka continued, ignoring the happenings around him, but Kakashi was on guard. His eyes stayed in the corner where he saw the shadow and shifted and grew dark enough to be an almost completely solid black. Kakashi could see clearly the silhouette of the figure, slightly blurred at the edges as if it wasn't completely in control of its form.

Despite the wind whipping things around and Iruka still chanting, Kakashi could feel his ears ringing with silence until-

"YOU BASTARD DOG I'LL KILL YOU!"

The shadow flew at him suddenly, holding the tantō he had inherited from his father. The blade began to spark and glow white, and Kakashi's eyes widened. He had almost forgotten that the spirit had been leeching off of him, stealing his chakra and energy.

Kakashi engaged in battle with the shadow as if it were a regular person and not an evil spirit on the verse of being exorcised. It was surprisingly skilled, if it had been a shinobi in life it would probably have been a jounin.

" _Ut inimicos sanctae Ecclesiae humiliare digneris,  
_ _te rogamus, audi nos.  
_ _Terribilis Deus de sanctuario suo_."

Posing to be a real problem was the wind which seemed to grow in intensity as their battle went on. The spirit seemed to be able to control it and use it to its advantage, aiming items it had picked up at both Kakashi and Iruka.

Kakashi struggled with fighting the shadow as well as protecting Iruka as he focused on reciting the incantation. He considered summoning a clone to help, but he could still feel the tug of exhaustion from the night before. If he did summon a clone he probably wouldn't have enough chakra to do much more if things got really bad.

" _Deus Israhel ipse truderit virtutem_."

The room flashed white every time the tantō collided with the kunai. Somewhere in the back of his mind Kakashi was surprised that the knife was holding up. Despite being able to channel chakra into the tantō apparently the spirit did not know how to properly wield it like a Hatake.

He looked desperately at Iruka, who had to shift his grip on the book to keep the pages from flipping and interrupting the ritual. "Any time you want to finish up there Iruka!" Kakashi grunted in his direction.

" _Et fortitudinem plebi Suae_."

The shadow seemed to be distracted by Iruka and instead shifted its efforts towards attacking him. Realizing its intentions, Kakashi jumped onto its path, "Iruka!"

" _Benedictus deus. Gloria patri_!"

There was a bright flash of light and before he could process what had happened, Kakashi felt his back collide with something hard.

The room was silent, and for a moment Kakashi flashed back to right before the shadow had rushed at him with the tantō, but then he heard Iruka groan.

"You alive?" Iruka asked. His voice was wheezy, as if the wind had gotten knocked out of him. It probably was, considering the state of the room. Everything was absolutely wrecked, as if thrown against the wall and left to fall to the ground. Unsurprisingly, aside from the fact that the candles had gone out, the only undamaged thing was the circle in the middle of the room.

Kakashi groaned weakly in reply.

With a huff of air Iruka blew a rogue piece of hair from his face. "Your apartment's kind of wrecked, huh?"

Kakashi grunted as he pushed himself up from the ground. "Y' think?" he asked with a sideways glance at Iruka.

The man shrugged and brushed some dust from his sleeve, "You wanna come over for some coffee?"

"Sure, why not."

**Author's Note:**

> i'm SORRY this is kakairu fest but this was gen at most until like the very end i'm dumb gomen kita-san-senpai.


End file.
